So bringing it...

It's 3 am and why am I not asleep? Because my body hurts. A lot. It hurt earlier, and I took a nap, and now sleep is so not happening.

Why is my body in pain you ask? BECAUSE I RAN 20 FREAKING MILES!!!!

20 MILES!!!!

AHHH!!!! ROCCKKKKK!!!!!!!

And my pace has improved (thanks to my new switch easy I can track my runs on my iPod again, hurrah!)! All is well!

To be honest I really am not as sore as I thought I would be. I was more sore on my last big run (15 miles) than this one. I feel this is a good sign, right?

So I do my big runs on Monday because I work Sunday and don't want to run Saturday and not be able to move Sunday morning. So there I was Monday, in my stupid looking fanny pack gagging on GU packets and shuffling along. I even got lost in a harbor! Go figure, I actually try to follow the assigned running trail for the marathon training course, and I end up next to a porta potty in the middle of a harbor. But running along the lake gave me a great view, so that was a nice way to pass the 6 hours or so I spent outside. I did the 20 miles a bit over 5 hours, so it still looks like I'll be finishing the marathon on the sidewalk, (the Chicago marathon course cut off time is 6.5 hours, lame) but all I really care about is finishing it, ya know? I'll worry about medals later in my competitive running career.

Yes, I said competitive running career. I've decided to stick with running post marathon. Me and my Dad are already planning on running the Indy 500 half marathon this next May (you get to run on the Indy 500 track, neato!), and I'm already talking about pacing myself over the next year in order to finish under the 6.5 hour mark and get a medal next year in Chicago.

I've officially gone off the deep end, right? I was talking on the phone while I ran, was smiling during my 19th mile, hell I'm even jogging now! My average pace for my 20 mile run was in the 16:20's! Dare I say i enjoyed it?

Yup. I sure did. When I was done I had a flood of emotions. I was tired, my body was numb, I needed to pee and needed protein (the two main P's in my life right now), but I was crying on the phone to my Mom because I was so freaking proud of myself. Never in a million years would I have thought I could do something like this. Most runners don't even attempt to run marathons because they don't think they'll be able to do it. And here I am, trucking along, doing something that 6 months ago would have seemed like a ridiculous suggestion in my then state of health.

Did I mention I also stepped on the scale yesterday? It said 273. When I started this whole crazy thing I weighed around 295. Do the math and that means I've lost 22 lbs!!! Since late May! And the best part is knowing that since muscle weighs more than fat, and I now have pretty bitching leg muscles, that my body is in even better shape! I'm starting to notice things too, like I can run up stairs, that my body shape is changing, and my second chin I've talked about a few times? It's pretty much all gone. Booyah second chin, take that.

So despite the Debbie downer attitude I had last week, all I needed was some tough self love, I little heart to heart with a few friends, and 20 miles to make me realize just how far I've come and just how awesome I am.

Taper time begins now. I run 5 miles today. The best part is when you see 5 miles and your like, "wow, that's all I have to run?"

Marathon in 18 days! Let's get ready to rumble...

brrr, it's cold in here...

Nothing like a marathon nightmare to get me off my lazy butt and training again. After putting off training for like, oh a week (eek!), I had a nightmare that I overslept, got to the marathon really late, and then they told me I could still compete if I ran REALLY FAST.

Yeah. I already can't run REALLY FAST.

And then I started to cry. Then I woke up, realized it was 6am, and told myself "this is a sign from God, go out and run woman!"

So I did. And I forgot how much it peps you up in the morning. I set out to just run based on the time I had before I needed to get home, shower, and head to work. I Mapquested the distance when I got home, and I did a bit over 4.22 miles. I say a bit over because Mapquest had me running on Lakeshore drive, which is a big no no, so I was actually running on the Lakeshore path, so I had a bit more distance, but anyways, it was very nice (Note to the people I ordered my iPod+Nike snapcase from, SEND ME MY DAMN PRODUCT! NOW! ok, thanks).

One downside? Chicago fall weather is upon us. So basically IT WAS FREEZING. And I've never really ran in the cold. The last time it was cold out my lazy butt wouldn't have walked a simple little mile. So I put a thin long sleeve shirt under my t-shirt, wore my longer running spandex legging things, strapped on the fannypack and headed out. It was really cold at first, but my body warmed up to it, so it wasn't too horrible.

So yay for back into the groove of things! I'm really starting to get nervous about the marathon, so I'm going all out training wise this last week or so before I taper off, and I'm really watching what I eat until the marathon has passed. No red meat, no booze, no fried stuff. I had baked tilapia and steamed green beans for lunch today. If I'm eating this sort of food, you know I mean business :)

Well, hope everyone who is training is doing well, and anyone training the cold like me is keeping warm!

Lisa

kick it into high gear?

If blogs were audible, you would hear a giant groan right about now. Yup, I've been slacking big time in the training for a marathon department. I've just been either crazy busy or way lazy. Ugh. I'm going for a walk later tonight to get my butt back into gear. C'mon Lisa, you're hitting the last curve around the bend before the marathon, don't give up now!

So yeah, I've basically not been in the mood to do anything. Not good for a person that is running a marathon in less than a month.

So basically I'm trying to build myself a virtual pep rally. My good friend Emily (the one who hijacks this site from time to time) has made a facebook group and event page for me running the marathon! If you have facebook, search LISA WHITE RUNS THE CHICAGO MARATHON and I'm sure the group will pop up. Feel free to join and cheer me on! Or leave some love here!

SOOOO, YAY RAH! GO LISA! GET YOUR BUTT INTO HIGH GEAR AND GET PUMPED!!!

phew. I'm tired just typing that. Haha, seriously though, just got to get back into the swing of things, and then all will be good.

Hope all is well!

Lisa

PS Dad just called earlier. We got our tickets for the marathon in today. Oh boy, it's official.

never eating fried food again...boooo...

Just got home from a 4.5 mile training. I'm calling them training sessions because when I say run, people think I actually run the entire 4.5 miles. Um, no. I can't run, I'm still pretty obese (whatevs, I'm getting there) so I do a really freaking fast walk, and sometimes jog. Anyways, just got home, getting ready to make some dinner. Those 4.5 miles were a bit of a killer tonight. I made the poor decision to eat fried food last night, and so that did a number on me. I felt like a slug out there. Eh well.

So the marathon is one month and two days away. Starting to get a bit scared. I still haven't received my thing for iPod+Nike system to attach to my New Balances. Grr. I'm having to mapquest my distance. But I still have bigger fish to fry.

I've been so busy post-graduating and looking for a job and training, that I haven't raised a cent for Team CARE. I have a month to raise 900 bucks. Uh oh. Anyone have advice on raising money? I feel so bad just asking people for money. I may try to get little old me some press, see if that would bring some moolah in if I get a newspaper story written about me or get on local television. Keep your fingers crossed!

And of course if anyone wants to donate to Team CARE, there is a link to the right where you can go and donate. Just saying.... :)

Well, off to make some dinner and brainstorm ways to raise money! Keep on running!

Woes from the land of Nike+iPod...

So the good thing about training for a marathon is you wear out a pair of shoes and get to go SHOE SHOPPING!!! Which I love. I'm a girl that loves a new pair of shoes. I usually prefer snakeskin pumps or shiny navy blue 4 inch t-strap heels (both which I bought while home, pure hotness let me tell ya), but since training I'm all giddy for new running shoes.

So my Nikes were no good for my feet (in fact dare I say I really don't like Nike shoes for sport at all) so I went and got my shoes at a speciality running store back in Indiana. Nothing like jogging around in non-running clothes (aka no sports bra=boobs bouncing while I run) in front of two really hot college track and field guys. Yup. It was a bit mortifying, but they were impressed with me doing a marathon so 10 pts for Lisa there. Anyways, I found a really great shoe for me, New Balance (I believe they were 817 or something like that) and they make my feet feel great!

Downside is this damn Nike+iPod system. So I found all these online products and ways to hack your shoe to make it work with the iPod system. Since I wanted to instantly use my new shoes and not wait for a fancy contraption from online, I bought a little shoe pouch from Nathans, stuffed in the sensor with some tissue paper, and headed out for my 3mile workout yesterday.

It all seemed good at first, until I realized my pace was jumping from 14 mins a mile to 33 mins a mile. I was pissed, but I was laughing my head off because the idea of a 33 minute mile is hilarious to me nowadays. Thankfully I knew the distance of where I was running to, so I was able to complete the 3 miles with no skin off my back. But I have no idea what my pace was (which sucks because I was totally trucking it there for a bit) and also according to my iPod at the end of the 3 miles I had only ran .76 mile. Cindy (the given name of my iPod lady) told me my average pace was 145 mins a mile. HAHA. So thank you Nike+iPod for giving me the worst stats ever. I'm terrified to plug it in and send the info to my Nike profile. It's totally going to screw with my average pace. Eh well.

So I bought one of those handy gadgets online, and I should soon have my dilemma fixed.
Hurrah!

This weekend is 16 miles. Phew. This time I'll remember to charge my iPod all the way :)

Anyone else training? How are things going for you?

Lisa

Well look what this little lady did!

What did you do today Lisa? Oh, ya know DID 10 FREAKING MILES!!!

Yup, longest run yet! See, I'm back in the saddle, yay!

I honestly thought after a week of being lazy (only one day of working out, and it was lackluster, and a bit of swimming in the lake) I thought this would be the death workout. But honestly, this was probably my best workout yet! It felt easier than my 7 mile, and my pace improved from 18:13 when I did my 7 miles to 17:45 with my 10 miles! And honestly, I had a few weak bits, but when I was done, I could have kept going! I planned ahead, wore my awesome (har har) hydration belt, drank some Gatorade and water during the run, and ate some goo chews (AMAZING little candy treats! And so much better tasting than goo, I'm in love) when I was feeling tired. So I credit my awesome balance of pacing myself and knowing when to drink and power up when I started to feel tired to my 10 mile awesomeness.

I also credit my new running buddy! Yay! One of the girls I work with wanted to jump in and train with me so she could run with someone. Her jog fits my fast walking pace, so it worked well. And I noticed that when I'm chatting with someone, I'm not concentrating on my feet hurting or looking for pain or constantly glancing at my iPod to see how far I've gone. It really did help to have someone to go with to keep me occupied and to pass the time. And also if you're running with someone, they hold you accountable, so you can't back out because "you just don't wanna run!"

So my final run stat for my 10 miles was :

Distance: 10.08 miles
Time: 2:58:59
Pace: 17:45 min/mile
Calories: 2, 198 (WOW!)

I also think it's time to share a photo or two. The one photo is me pre-run, looking a bit skeptical of my super nerdy and still too small (but getting there!) runners fanny pack. Also notice the headphones and bad-ass don't talk to me I'm a woman on a mission sunglasses. And notice the white shirt, which 6 months ago you would never find me in anything white. The other photo is my post-run pic. I'm all smiles and all sweat and look like hell, but very happy. Hi, my name is Lisa, and I currently only have 1 chin and a little extra bit, way to keep kicking obesity's butt!

Greetings from the lankd of procrastination!

First off, THANK YOU DIET BLOG! And the awesome comments from people! It really means a lot to get recognized for this. I'm starting to hit a spot where I'm not so impressed with my efforts sometimes, and I start to drag my feet, so its nice and so helpful to go back and read these words of encouragement and wisdom. I've never really been a source of inspiration for anyone, so these comments and thoughts really do mean the world to me. Thank you doesn't even begin to describe my feelings for the support I receive on this site.

In other news, I've been in a funk this week. I'm PMS-ing (TMI, I know), which I'm not use to. See, when you have Polycystic Ovarian disease (like I do evidently, although I hate to use it as a crutch for my weight, so I try to leave it out of my life), you don't have a normal female cycle. Not healthy, but sort of nice when you only get a visit from Aunt Flo once a year. But now that I'm getting healthy, my cycle is back, and let me tell ya, it's back with a vengeance. I've been cranky and emotional for no reason, all I want to do is eat shitty food, and I don't want to work out at all. I've had to force myself to go even weight training this week, and I really don't mind weight training! Bad bad Lisa. Tomorrow I am forcing myself to get up and run or walk. No more whining Missy! Back to the grindstone.

In other news, I bought one of those nifty fanny pack things for runners, and boy do I look like a utter fool! An awesome utter running fool though, so it's all good. I've accepted the fact that running is not a glamorous sport, so strapping a purple fanny pack contraption to my waste is the least of my worries. I've gotten over the whole "I look sort of silly doing this" thing, and so putting on spandex and a fanny pack is totally sane to me now. Did I mention that I never wear anything around my waist because of my weight? Yeah, never. And did I mention the fanny pack barely fits (who knew that running companies don't cater to obese people, right?) and I feel like a strand of sausage wearing it? Yeah, whatever, you all are just jealous, I know...

So enough with my bitching. Time to get some sleep before a new days dawns, and I can rock it out in my spandex and fanny pack once again.

keep fighting the good fight!

I can tell that we are going to be friends...

So the time has come. I've decided that this little blog has been around long enough on the blogger playground to qualify for making some e-friends. Not only because I'm vain and want people to pay attention to me (ME! ME! ME!) but also because I've really gotten into my message of making ones life healthier and better, and I want to spread the word. I also have been getting into surfing the web and finding some really awesome diet and exercise blogs. Mostly diet, since it's what I still struggle with. I'm getting to the point where I want to meet people that are going through similar situations like me.

Case in point on the struggling with diet front, I binged some the past few days. It was out of frustration. I went to the gym after work Thursday night, and could barely do one mile, I was almost in tears. Seems my arch has fallen some, so I went and purchased some arch supports, but I was still angry. I felt like a failure walking out of the gym after only doing 1 mile. Granted I actually got my butt up and did 1 mile, and I did 200 crunches (with weights! woo hoo!), but I somehow still felt like I failed. So what does any sensible person do? Comes home and eats sort of shitty food and whines. Yup. Bad news bears. But I realize it was wrong, and I realize that I wasn't eating because I was hungry, but because I was emotional. Admitting your wrong and realizing the problem has to come first, right?

So my woe-is-me whiny self is back to training today. Probably do some crunches, and then this afternoon/evening when it cools down, 10 MILES (OH MY!). At this point even 10 miles is starting to not really phase me. The only problem is I need something to carry my water and gatorade and goo packets in. I need one of those dorky runner fanny pack things. Great. Hello lame sandwich...

So (hopefully) welcome bloggers that I e-mail! I hope you check out my little journey here, I don't bite, I just want to be friends. I'm getting to the point in my training where I need all the support I can get aka double digits training time. I'll be posting a links section soon too, so if you know a good blog to contact, let me know. Or if you want to be linked, let me know too! So tell all your friends folks, I'm coming out of my shell!

Ok, off to the bank, and then probably to buy one of those funny running fanny pack things. And maybe the Harry Potter book? Eh, I'll wait till tomorrow for that, otherwise I won't get any running in and probably not go to work either, haha.

I DID IT!

I FINISHED 7 FREAKING MILES! I ran, I jogged, I walked, I felt pain and happiness and so much more, and I DID IT!

When I was done, I was in a state of euphoria. I was so sore and tired, but I wanted to cry with joy. I wanted to shout and hug all the "roid rage" guys at the gym and just go crazy.

I never would have thought even a month ago that I could finish a 7 mile workout. Hell, I wouldn't have thought I could have finished 5 miles at that. I was even afraid that I would get 5.5 miles in, and collapse. Never would I have though I could finish 7 miles, NEVER. I am just in complete awe of myself. Every time I think about what I'm doing, how I'm actually getting healthy and making my life better, I just start crying. I'm just so freaking happy and proud of myself.

Today I was watching a re-run of the Biggest Loser on Bravo while I ate lunch, and it just made me smile and cry (again). Anytime I see people getting healthy and changing their life, I just get so filled with joy.

Even things that feel like setbacks empower me. For example, I received my Team Care runners shirt in the mail today for the marathon. It's a reallly nice shirt, UV protecting and helps with sweating, but its a womens XL. I haven't worn a womens size shirt in years, and I wear a guys XL, and even that can be tight at times. I just laughed, actually put the shirt on, and low and behold, it actually went on my body! Didn't fit, but I just smiled, because I know that it will fit in the future, that it's a goal to reach and something that I know I'll conquer.

I've done so much in the past few months that I never would have thought I could have done. I've ran more than a 10k run, I've ran 59.56 miles total to date, and I've gained so much self love and confidence that I've been missing in my life.

I still have a long way to go, but I know that my life is already worth so much more, and I'll only continue to grow with every mile I run.

Survived the Pitchfork Music Festival weekend...

So I survived the P-fork weekend, and I return! For those who don't know, Pitchfork Music Festival is this big indie music outdoor festival in Chicago, and I was covering it for this site called Heave Media. It was a great weekend, had some friends come and stay with me, and made sure to burn some calories in the process.

So I knew I would be standing allllll weekend in the heat, so I felt it best to push my 7 mile workout back until, well actually later this evening. Since my legs felt jello-ish after 4 miles, I didn't want to spend the weekend with sore legs and possibly bleeding (yay the gross stuff from running!) so I opted to spend the weekend forcing myself to dance in public in the name of cardio. And did I! I spent a lot of time at the dj stage. Saturday night (despite technical difficulties) I danced my butt off for the entire Girl Talk (a dj) set, busting out some crazy moves. Everyone was dancing and have a great time despite the sound issue.

But I really kicked it up a notch on Sunday. This band Klaxons were performing, and my friend Amy and I got prime spots up near the front. You can go check out the band, and realize that their music is hard and fast. The crowd went CRAZY! Moshing, dancing, screaming. I ended the night dancing in the middle of a dance circle with glowsticks. I felt like I was in the 90's at a rave, for reals. After the show my hair and clothes were soaked with sweat, but man did I have fun. I had some minor bruises, but it was totally worth it. Now if only every workout could include a mosh pit, I'd be pretty happy.

Off to the grocery store. I'm on my last cans of ancient tuna, so I really need to go. Then meeting Amy at the gym tonight for an EPIC RUN of 7 miles. Hope my legs don't fall out!

Almost toned enough to dance around in my underwear...

So last night I did 3.74 miles. I was going to do 4, but the bank was going to close, and I had to stop at the grocery store. Still, pretty damn far. Farther than a 5k. And my pace is getting lower, even though I felt like I was dragging. But I'm getting back into the swing of things after not running, and this weekend is 7 miles. Phew.

Food still is a struggle. Like, when I worked out with Amy, and after we went and got burgers and fries. Eh, at least we tried. I do ok if I'm home, because I just keep refusing to buy fatty foods. Right now there is a piece (only 1! They evidently sell them in singles) of birthday cake for Adam for his birthday. It has survived the night, but I can't promise that it will make it any farther if he doesn't get here and eat it. I also ate a bag of steamed broccoli today. Who would have thought that I'd think of a meal as a bag of steamed vegetables and a soy patty? Eh, people change.

My friend Sibo im'd me today. We went to high school together, and he did track, really cool guy. My away message was about running four miles, and he left me this gem:

holy shiz lisa
4 miles? dang you're running further than I ever have
cross country was 5k, and that killed me
congrats so far

That's right. I'm beating out people that ran for fun in high school. Sibo, I do believe you made my day...

Just get off your ass and do it.

This is me not wanting to go out and run again. This is the point where my mind starts to go, "Dude, what the hell have you done?!?! Are you fucking crazy?!?!" This is the point where I start to try to binge on healthy food, and try to sneak in unhealthy food back into my life. I ate the rest of David's fried potato wedges yesterday. I haven't ate something fried in 4 weeks until then. Then I ate some onion rings also. Might as well, what the hell...

This is the point where I usually give up. It's funny, my breaking point and attention span is so low compared to what it use to be. Yet the small victories mean so much more now. I walked to the grocery store Friday for my workout. Forget to take the iPod. Round trip was 3.44 miles, the longest I've gone in one stretch. I felt so tired. Granted I was pushing about 50 lbs of groceries (hey, 5 bottles of Gatorade and a whole watermelon weights a lot, CMON!) and it was the heat of the day, but I just felt so proud when I made it back. It's the small things that count, things that you couldn't (and wouldn't) have done a month ago.

One thing that keeps convincing me to keep going are the dreams I keep having. I keep having dreams about finding love. See, this has never been an important thing to me. I've always put my education and career first. I've dated a few people, fell hard for one person and got hurt, but nothing really that odd or different. But now as I'm loosing weight, I don't know, the idea of love and relationships are starting to sound so appealing to me. I blame all the friends I have that are getting married, or the love in the air in the summer, but regardless, I'm starting to want to have someone there. I've never had that, I've been too trapped by my fears and hate of my body, but as I'm melting it away, those feelings are going away too. I had a dream where I didn't loose the weight last night, and I had these guys that were crazy about me, and were totally fat. No offense fat guys, I'm sure your all lovely on the inside, but I won't lie. This is why I don't date, and I don't expect people to date me. I don't find overweight people attractive, so I don't date them, and I understand why someone wouldn't want to date me because they aren't attractive to my size. We like people for whats on the inside a lot, but we make the decision to know them better based on what we see. The other dreams I've had I'm cute and fit, and finding love with men I've always desired and dreamed of dating.

These dating dreams, this glimpses at what I could have if I continue (vs what I will have if I continue down a not so healthy road, assuming I even live that long at all) maybe a driving force that keeps me doing this. It's scary to think of dying young and unhealthy and huge and alone. I know I'm being dramatic, but it very well could happen to me if I don't change. And that enough is fear to make me go out in the 81 degree weather, and walk for 60 minutes. Praying that it's enough to make me change my life.

Sorry so Debbie Downer folks. Have a great father's day, and keep the faith.

Lisa

"One more time..."

Today is a Daft Punk day I've decided. For those that don't know, my life revolves around music, (it is my job after all) so I usually have music when I'm doing anything, especially running. Daft Punk makes some pretty good "get pumped cause your gonna walk Missy" type of music. Which I need after the humiliation of my early morning stress test and EKG...

Ok, it wasn't that humiliating. Nothing like rising at the crack of dawn to go have someone slather rubbing alcohol and sticky band aid type patches all over your boobs. Yup, great way to say hello to a new day. Needless to say my heart rate was up before I even got on the treadmill. See, I'm a very modest person, no ones sees me naked, not even myself half the time. So needless to say an early morning medical flashing of my chest is not my favorite pastime.

I did enjoy telling the nurse why I was in for my test though. Here's how it went down...

Skinny chipper nurse lady: "And Lisa, why did Dr. Brackett have you come in to us today for these test?"
Lisa: "Well, you see I'm running the Chicago marathon."
Now very surprised skinny chipper nurse lady: "Oh wow...well congratulations?"

I still get a kick out of telling people that I'm running the marathon. Many people are really impressed and supportive, and thankfully I haven't meet any mean people yet about it, but the best are the shocked people that seem in awe. They aren't doubting my ability or anything, I'm young and I'll bounce back and be fine and all that jazz that they say, but the shock of seeing a statistically overweight American deciding to run 26.2 miles is a lot to take in, and so it's fun to see the reaction from people.

Regardless, things went really well, at least I think they did. My heart rate wasn't too high after my exercise, it was pretty normal, and my blood pressure was good for my age and health (which that health part isn't saying much). I did the program for 7 minutes, and the could have gone a bit longer but could tell I was about to feel light headed. The nurse said people in really good shape usually can go for a max of 12 minutes, including the two 80 year old people she mentioned that were buff that did about 10 minutes. Well, the old people maybe beating me, but for my health I did pretty well.

So it looks like I won't die from this marathon training! Of course my body will try to convince me otherwise around mile 22, but no fooling me! I've got the test to prove it. It's all in my head, so it's now a battle against my own endurance.

Well despite today's schedule calls for cross training today, my Dad just insulted me by telling me that "your walking pace is about like relaxed cross training." Zing Dad! Way to go...ass. So off for a walk I go!

Back to Chicago this weekend, hurrah!

heart monitors, treadmills, and 6 am wake-up calls

So it's about 12:40 in the morning, and I have to be up at 5:45. I just finished my one book (the non-French women) and it was hilarious, insightful, and much needed inspiration from a women that I feel is a lot like me when it comes to running.

See, I loathe running. I don't see the point of it, unless you are running from something really bad or scary, or you're running to something totally awesome. I hope a naked Brad Pitt holding a giant banana split with 50 can can dancers and fireworks are at the end of my 26.2 miles. Somehow I fear that at the end of my 26.2 miles, (which maybe anywhere from 6 hours to 10 days at this point) everyone will have gone home at that point. I won't even get to congratulate Kenyan Steve on his 5th Chicago Marathon win. Damnit.

I go in a few hours for my EKG and stress test. After I cross train aka bike downstairs at 6am. WTF? When do I EVER get up at 6am, especially to warm up with a workout for another workout. The cool thing is I get to put sticky heart monitors on me and feel like a lab rat. I'm still holding hope that one of these doctors will go WHAT THE HELL and slap me and bring me back to reality. This is just the fear talking. I will just ignore it.

My knee has a small bump under it, and it hurts a tiny bit. I think I'm imagining things. Did I mention I get to pant and almost pass out in my baggy t-shirt and spandex-ish pants in a few hours in a room full of people? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make spandex anything in my size?! What is wrong with these people? I look like an oddly shaped grey pear. It is not a pretty sight. Thankfully I'm still walking during training at this point. See, years of a fat southern style cooking from my country family has taken it's toll, and I'm a prettty big girl. So I would assume if people see me running at them, they will run away, assuming that if this fat chick is running, she must be running from something pretty scary. Oh, if they only knew. I'm just waiting to scare small dogs and children next.

But the bright side is I am burning more calories than I consume, which means weight loss! And better health! My clothes are already looser. Fascinating I tell ya. That's really the main reason behind this crazy idea of a marathon. Nothing has made me care about my health. I don't want to die at 25, and the road I've taken thus far is leading to that. Mental picture, I weight close to 300 lbs. I carry it better than some fat people, but no doubt about it, no point in lying, I'm fat. I am not happy with this, never have been. I am not one of those content jolly fat folks that are like "oh give me some more cake, look at my button pop off my shirt, too funny, haha." I've always been pretty unhappy with my body. It's held me back a lot in life in many different situations, and I would have given anything to change my lifestyle back when I started gaining weight. But nothing (and I mean nothing) has made me care enough to change it. It took a crazy ass goal and telling everyone I know (and then some) about it to scare me into actually caring. And the payoff from just this past almost month has been worth it thus far. My family is proud of me actually doing something to fix my health, I feel better, my new dress from graduation is too big (damn, and after I finally found a plus size dress that was cute and didn't look like a sack of potatoes) and I feel much more energized. The plus is finally outweighing the minus.

Well enough rambling. Time for a bit of shut eye before the big scary spandex clad doctor test. Wish me luck!

Week 1 training-Am I really doing this? Oh I SO AM...

Man, two post in one day! Aren't you lucky? Eh, I just never shut up. Get use to it. It actually can be one of my very cute habits, you'll learn to love it, trust me.

So anyways, WELCOME PEOPLE THAT FOLLOWED THE LINK FROM FACEBOOK HERE! TA DA! I'M RUNNING A MARATHON! Shocked? I am too. First off, thanks for stopping by! Leave some love, let me know how you are doing, tell me "way to go!" or tell me "man Lisa, you are going to kill yourself." Either words of wisdom inspire me at this point. Secondly, if you are inspired by my will (or insanity) and would like to donate money to the charity I will soon be running with, PLEASE E-MAIL ME! Here is the e-mail, get ready for it: lisa.management@gmail.com Did you get that? Good. If not, (well if not, you need help folks, it's right there) just send me a facebook message and I'll get in touch. Now give me money. Well, give a good cause money, just it goes through me so I can do this crazy marathon thing. When you e-mail me, I will get in touch with you, and will let you know what charity I am running with as soon as I know (hopefully cancer related, it's a cause close to home, but we'll see), and at that point I will also e-mail you and let you know how you can send in pledges, donations, money, puppies, firstborn, whatever you want to send that will help out. If you know any businesses or individuals that maybe interested in donating to this crazy cause of mine, please forward them my site and/or e-mail address, and I will get right back to them. Family, friends, whoever. I'm looking at getting t-shirts made with sponsor names on it, so that maybe incentive (not written in stone that I'll have those, so don't quote me kids!). Ok, now that all that business is out of the way, on to my original second post for the day (blame the endorphins [or however you spell that] for my perky and overzealous blogging).

So this is the first week of full on marathon training. I'm following a 20 week training program for walkers and run/walking people. It's from an awesome book called The Non-runner's Marathon Guide For Women by Dawn Dais. My doctor told me to check it out, and boy am I glad I did. This women has become in the past two days one of my personal demigods. Nothing but mad respect for her. She was a lazy person that hated moving of any kind that decided to run a marathon, and the book follows her training schedule, her advice, and her journals from her training. I just got the book, and I'm almost finished. It just so happened that her marathon training schedule was for 20 weeks, which is just how long I have! And also the first week was no different than what I was doing now, actually a bit nicer, so I now have a schedule set in stone. I'm also reading French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano, another amazing book, to help me get better with my eating habits and to keep my diet in check. Both books are very down to earth and are easy to read, with no massive amount of doctor and science talk, but just plain practical and wonderful advice from regular people that have changed their lives for the better in very wonderful ways.

So I'm writing down everything I eat and how much I work out, I'm working out almost every day on a set schedule, I'm reading health and wellness books, I'm buying shoes with "shocks" and the Nike swoosh and heel support on them, and charting the pace and calories burned with my iPod. In less than a month I've become a person I don't even know. And I'm actually really loving that fact. Usually at this point in a diet (and I've been on way too many, trust me) I'm miserable and end up having a bad day for one reason or another, will go and eat a ton of crappy food, and stop working out. But oddly enough I'm not feeling this at all. I'm eating well, even out in social situations, and I'm actually getting out of bed at 7 am without having to be dragged to go work out. People lately have said I look so happy and that I'm just radiant and glowing. I would usually dismiss this as them being polite, but I think it's actually the truth this time. I do feel like I'm glowing and radiant, I feel healthier already, and feel like I have this amazing confidence and determination that I haven't had before with things that include sports and/or body image. I went out last night, and for the first time in a long time thought to myself, "man Lisa, you look cute today, go get em girl!" I've found this new sense of willpower and self respect. It feels pretty damn good. Granted I may loose this new found bit of willpower when I start walking the big miles, but it will still be in the back of my mind, pushing me every bit of the way. I've made this amazing choice to do something really awesome for myself while helping others too, and it's just totally got me pumped. I haven't felt this excited about something in a long time. Boy does it feel pretty inspiring and good.

So I hope everyone returns and keeps tabs on my progress as I start this long road (we're talking 300 plus miles I will walk before the marathon during training, woah) that lies ahead of me. Keep it real folks, and keep giving it your best. You know I will be doing the same.

Here we go again...

So it's been close to a month since I posted, but have no fear! I'm still in this thing! I've just been crazy busy. First off, I graduated college! Hurrah! Go me! I did it in three years! I'm really proud of myself, not going to lie. Post graduation has been crazy. I had to come home for good and bad reasons. I was asked to present a scholarship at my old high school to a student going to Columbia College, as a recent Columbia alumni. I was honored, and it was amazing. I also had to come home for a funeral, a very unexpected one. A classmate from high school was in a car crash and passed away. I went to a very different high school, very accelerated and very small, I graduated with 42 people I believe, and so it was very shocking to loose someone from my class. He was insanely smart, and would have done amazing things in his career and life. His passing reminded me that life is short, and no one should take it for granted. A pretty great lesson to be reminded of, and one that has thrown me headfirst into training and getting ready for this epic marathon I've crazily decided to do...

So, ON WITH THE MARATHON! Ok, I'm not that excited, I'm scared to death, but I've doing a lot of marathon nerdy prep work here, so let me tell you about it some. Bullet point list time (something I'm very fond of, as you will find out...)

-I've told way too many people that I'm running the Chicago marathon, thus I cannot turn back or I will look like an ass. I'm going to tell even more people. I'm going to post it on facebook, and tag all my old high school friends. If seeing people and being afraid of telling them I failed at running a marathon isn't enough motivation, I don't know what is...

-I bought the shoes. Yes, THE shoes. My dad is starting to believe that I'm serious about this marathon thing, because I actually spent a pretty penny of my own money on a pair of running shoes and not trendy high heels. I got a pair of Nike shocks. They are lime green and silver and make me look like I actually know what I'm doing (if you just look at my feet). They also are Nike+iPod, so they have a computer chip that tracks to my ipod my pace, distance, time, and calories burned, and give me neat things like powersongs and a talking lady (I call her Becky) who tells me what I've done so far in my workout, and warns me of time countdowns. My friend Neil is referring to me as computer shoes. This is my new nickname. You may now call me this. I've accepted my fate.

-I've talked to people who do marathons! And survived! They didn't skin me alive or burn me at a stake for being a fat girl who wants to run a marathon in 20 weeks! Yes, I was amazed, but it made me feel a lot better. I spoke to a former teacher from high school who has done numerous marathons himself, and have trained people of all shapes and sizes and levels to run marathons, triathlons, and other giant scary sporting events. So basically he knows what the hell he is talking about. We spoke, he gave some advice, and told me to e-mail him. So I did, and included in the e-mail the tone of just how uneducated I am on marathons and just how crazy I am. I sure hope he can help, haha.

-I went to the doctor. Yay? Yeah, I wasn't so thrilled. I gained 10 lbs since my visit last October. I blame the stress of senior year, damn me and my bad eating habits. I told him I have decided to run a marathon. I figured he may slap me and go ARE YOU CRAZY!? but he was very nice about the whole thing. He said that he loves goal oriented plans to get healthy. He told me to eat fruit instead of carbs before I work out, since someone my size shouldn't really eat plates of pasta. He told me to start slow, and gradually increase my workout each week, about 10%, to prevent serious injury, since I'm putting A LOT of weight down on my feet and joints. He told me to maybe train for a half marathon and do the marathon next year, mainly because he was worried more about my Dad running it. This makes me worry, because I obviously don't want my Dad to keel over around mile 22, this would be very unfortunate. But, he said it is up to me, and be damned I am running the Chicago marathon this year! It's really the idea behind it for me that keeps me going. So I've met the doctor in the middle. Me and Dad are running the half marathon in August in Chicago, and if he does ok, he will continue to the full marathon in October. If I don't do ok, I'm still doing this damn marathon. It's now become something I just have to do. I'm watching my grandfather eat himself into a diabetic coma, his sugar sky high all the time. I'm watching a cousin loose a toe (and possibly a foot) because of poor circulation due to her diabetes. She's lost weight, and told me to take some diet pill, that I could eat anything I want and loose weight if I took this pill. This disturbed me beyond. Here is someone loosing their foot because of their poor health and eating habits, and she still believes that a little pill will change her life. It won't, you must make a lifestyle change, and that is just what I'm doing, and that is what keeps me going.

So there ya have it. I have a stress and EKG test tomorrow at a heart center, just to make sure that I won't kill myself doing this. I get to be hooked up to some machine with heart monitors, and do stuff on a treadmill. Ya know, like you see in movies! It shall be fun. Wow, you know things are changing when I start to think that doctors and treadmills are fun. So it goes...so it goes...

keep it real folks.